Bahrain + A Tangent

This past week I went to Bahrain with my mother to visit family/friends. Before I forget even more, I wanted to at least write the basics and blog as proof to myself that I've experienced this visit. (you know, that leads me to this thought: what's the point of life if you have alzheimer's? if you have short-term memory loss? long-term memory loss? what is your life supposed to be about? what would you want your purpose to be? is that different than if you can remember everything? ... oh, which reminds me, you really should do a search on savants - they're really quite extraordinary people and inspire me, at least, to believe again in the infinite possibilities of our minds! oh! and that brings something else to mind: why is it that the joy of life as we mature is seen as naive, immature, or childish by those who have lost their joy and wonder in all things experienced? why is judgment cast on those who still take awe in life? why does the judgments of others teach us to judge ourselves and create inhibitions of what comes natural? what purpose do judgments serve? and would we live in a world of anarchy or peace if we learned to love and accept ourselves and to follow what comes to us instictively? maybe we all do, already. and maybe the presence of judgment is exactly what comes naturally. and if that's the case, then why question anything if it's simply just because we feel like it. and so the questions loop back on themselves, as so often is the case when i analyze things, and in doing so remind myself to be at peace.) ok! lol ... bahrain!

here's what i have about bahrain:
wednesday: packed and drove to dc & boarded evening plane
thursday: landed in bahrain
friday: had brunch at ritz carlton
saturday: dinner with friends (?)
sunday: national museum (?)
monday: tree of life (?)
tuesday: mall (?)
wednesday: mosque and mall(?)
thursday: gold souk
friday: had dinner at ritz and went out to a club
saturday: camel farm, last minute shopping & back to the airport
sunday: arrived in dc
monday: played catchup
tuesday: back home? ... oh! and let's not get started on what and where "home" for me is right now :-P

(?) as of now, i'm not 100% sure that this is what i did on those days, but i'll edit this or update it as i remember more :-)

Playing Catch-Up

Ok, it's been just over a year. What a year! *epiphany* Since I've met David, it seems as though I've remembered my life in relation to my relationship with him. Is that natural, normal, ok? In essence, my life for the last four years has been defined by him. Why has this just dawned on me? And is this ok in my book? Why hasn't it revolved more around me - what I think, what I feel, what I've accomplished? I suppose it's for the same reasons that I've held off accomplishing certain things in my life unless I have someone around to validate the accomplishment. For the most part, I've never felt that doing something just for me was good enough - I've held the belief that great joy comes from sharing my life with someone, and yet, even while I write this and acknowledge that so many others would disagree and encourage me to be an individual and live life for myself, I still hold that notion close to my heart and debate the satisfaction felt from knowing someone else cares vs the stark realization that you're alone. On multiple occassions I've found myself preaching that yes, we are born and die alone, however we live on a planet inhabited by others for a reason. For me, to date, there seems to be this boredom, anxiety and sorrow at the thought of experiencing life and not being able to share it with someone else. I suppose that could be where blogging and journaling take their place for so many, and possibly for me too. Typically, I'm someone who pics one person and shares everything about me with him. To be able to open up and be 100% myself with someone and have them love me still, without judgment or rejection is the ultimate feeling, and I believe it's what so many of us are in search of - God's love manifest in each other. Of course, how can I make such a statement without outlining my belief in God? And herein lies the irony, now that I'm forcing myself to think this through. Since my belief is that God is an energy that encompasses all - the alpha & the omega, the beginning and the end, a force that just IS - and that this energy is made manifest by us, through us, for us, eventually creating a circle of energy that is us ... then in essence, the irony in my belief is that I believe we are each God, no different than how each piece of a hologram is the hologram. ha! and so the cruz of my theory lies in this old revalation that i'm just now remembering: for me - i feel most in touch with the essence of god and my energies are vibrating most when i feel 100% accepting of myself - without the negativity that is doubt, fear, anxiety, frustration. those are feelings with a vibration that dampen my energy. until recently i prided myself on fully accepting myself, my actions, my thoughts, my decisions - i was raised to be ok with others' judgments because they mattered little so long as i stood behind my actions, committed to my decisions, even if the decision was to change my mind. it is when i forget this and allow for uncertainty and unacceptance of myself to creep in that things begin to go awry for me.

... i was sidetracked, so i've lost my train of thought ... and that's ok ;-) i'll get back to it at some point, i'm sure.

Hangin' w/Tim &Faith :-P

Faith Hill & Tim McGraw Concert - DC 07/07/07,
originally uploaded by QueRiquita.

Ok, so I was going through some pictures with David, and decided I'd just put this one out in cyberspace. David thought it'd be funny if he got a shot of me next to this poster of them. He was right. At first it kinda looks like they're actually there. He's so silly sometimes. It reminds me of when we were at his sister Tracy's house earlier this year and we took a shot of us next to one of her pictures! Ha - that was funny too! Anyway, here's the shot to remember us attending their concert in DC on 07/07/07. Today's 08/8/07 ... let's see where we'll be in a year ;-P

Purple Power

Purple Power,
originally uploaded by QueRiquita.

Hmmm so, I think this is how I get the blog thing to work. I guess soon I'll find out.

If it works, I might as well tell you: this pic is called "Purple Power" and I found it online at http://www.graphics-galore.com/images/Abstracts,%20etc/Abstracts,%20etc-2/Purple%20Power.htm.

I thought it was pretty neat, so I put it on my myspace page.

Enough of that - I wonder how to add blog tags. I guess I'll have to play with this thing more.

Oh, and in case I don't post again tonight, I'm in DC with Little Ricky & Aidee and my mother, but since I have a meeting tomorrow, I'm leaving tonight. Ugh - It's already 8:15p & it's a 3 hr drive. *sigh*

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.


uhhh, so i just tested this flickr thing, but i'm not really sure how to use it. supposedly it works with my flickr pics. hmmm... now if only i can figure out how to do it *wink*

'Old Guy' email from my G'ma Arline

ok, so here's the email that Mom sent me ... by the way, for those of you who don't know ... I call my G'ma Arline aka my dad's mom, Mom. so, anyway, here's the email I wanted to save somewhere other than my inbox, and I thought it'd be nice to share. As you read it, reflect on the last line & how it may pertain to you *wink* Enjoy!

******************************
A very self-important (US) college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

‘You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,' the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. 'The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing and...,' pausing to take another drink of beer.

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, 'You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little asshole, what are you doing for the next generation?'

Just to do it

Ya know, I think I'ma have to start writing in the mornings. Why? Because I'm a night owl, and I get so sidetracked throughout the day doing random things that by the time I get to this, I'm kinda over it. *hmph* So, solution: type when I wake. I think I'll try that tomorrow. *smile*

G'night.

OCD

Yeah, ok. I know this is getting to be obsessive, but oh well. At least I know myself well enough to know that that's how I am.

I'm still up! It's almost 4am and I'm so OCD at times that I keep myself up for days until I complete a task. Who can blame David for going to bed without me *shrug*

The good news is that I'm getting that funky sense of accomplishment. And I mean, the good one.

Let me explain:
Typically, there are four ways that my day can go. I can either ...
1. Feel like I've accomplished something productive ... but know I really didn't.
2. Know I accomplished something productive ... but feel like I didn't.
3. Know & Feel that I did NOT accomplish anything productive for the day ---> the Worst!
4. Feel & Know that I DID accomplish something productive with my day ---> the Best!

Today I'd classify as a Feel & Know I "dun good" that started out as just a feeling of accomplishment but knowing I really hadn't. *shrug* I'm pleased. That's what counts, I suppose. After all, it is my life *wink*.

Well, having said that, I'll quickly mention that I vaccuumed more of the house and cleaned my car (thank Lehua), and went to the gym (thanks again!), and cleaned the bathroom ... AND set up another site for one of the companies, so Yay! Oh! and most important - in it's own way - Pops (David's dad, that is) had a birthday to him, and we remembered to call and send out a card! *silly grin*

Ok ... back to my OCD work. G'night *cheers*

At least the counter's alive

I'm sleepy. And I don't feel that I've had much of a productive day. Yes, I did some things work related and related to my personal world, but *tsk* I just don't have that sense of accomplishment today.

Maybe that's why I'm typing in here before bed, so that I can feel like I've accomplished something by keeping this "goal" I set for myself going. At least now I can say "Ch-Ching - Day 3!" *shrug*

What to write? Well, that's just it. I'm not really certain. I thought I wouldn't write in this blog about work or my relationship, except in mentioning that yes, I work, and yes, I'm in a relationship. The details, however, I don't feel should be of relevance to this blog. If anyone I know is reading this, than they know that I work, and they know I'm in a relationship, and that's about all I tell my family, so why should I say much more to you. I mean, it'd be different if you were one of my girlfriends and we were discussing relationships. Then, it would make sense to go into more detail. However, if you are one of my girlfriends, then you already know what's up in my personal world, at least you know to the extent I've shared. If you're someone involved somehow with my work - a client, a partner, a prospect - then we've discussed what needs to be discussed either in another venue or in person. So, I guess that's that.

On to my ramblings:
This blog thing is funny. I wonder, "Does anyone really care?" I mean, I don't think I even go back and read these things. And I'm wondering, "Is it easier to do a blog search or to flip through pages?" I guess the answer is blog search, however something should be said for the nostalgia in seeing your own handwriting as your moods shift from entry to entry. I guess I do the same in typing, though. And the other thing that can be said about typing vs writing is that it is faster. Geesh, it takes me so long to write, whereas my speed in typing is pretty comparable to that of speaking/thinking. hmmm. I was thinking about that last ight. Did I write that already? Nope, guess not. *wink* Last night I was tired and went to bed after I showered. The thing is that by the time David crawled into bed, my mind was racing with thoughts. The same happens to my mother. She says someone told her that it's characteristic of geniuses and highly intelligent people. I, like her, laugh at that, however that didn't stop me from writing it jeje. (for those who don't already know, that's me 'hehe'ing in Spanish).

OK - there was just a detour in my freeflow thought process. I got an unexpected myspace comment from one of David's sisters, which I think is really great b/c she's the only one I thought didn't like me. *hmmm* It was I nice comment and made my evening. :) Tina, if you ever read this blog, thanks! And if you don't, that's ok, b/c my thanks goes out just the same.

I think on that positive note, I'll end this post.

Nope. Wait, gotta add a little more. I'll simply add that in our world, we may or may not be seeing the kids this weekend, as was planned, since Claudia called to say that Jeremiah has an important engagement that will last until Saturday evening, almost. Hopefully she and David will be able to work something out.

On another positive note, however, David should be done with his real estate license practice tests so that he can soon take his school exam. If he passes that this week, then he'll be eligible to take the state exam next week. And if he passes that, then he's good to apply to be an agent, which I think would be good for him until he decides what to do with himself. ... hmmmm, I wonder if this is teetering on the side of "I don't know you, I'm getting a bit too personal with my blog."

I'll think it over and adjust future blogs accordingly. *wink* G'night.

Ehhh ... I cooked ... I vegged online ...

Yup, that about covers it. I mean, yes, I did handle business stuff - a phone call here, a paper shuffling there, but aside from that, I don't know how much I accomplished. I made a couple people smile and chuckle, which is nice. Also, I ran some errands, including returning those cookbooks I'll have no need for now that I've discovered the power of SEARCHING ONLINE! lol. geesh, you'd think I was born a few centuries back. I was even thinking of installing a monitor and keyboard in the kitchen, as I've seen in some houses, primarily for that purpose. That thought came to me yesterday. Today, after my attempt at 'cooking', if you feel to call it that - I'm not so sure. Actually, tonight's efforts weren't so horrible. I don't know that I'd really call them a success, however. In yesterday's post I mentioned stopping my the ridiculous WallyWorld. Well, since they didn't have anything, I ended up buying one of those beef broccoli meals in a bag that you just throw on the stove and eventually it thaws out enough to eat. Well, the broc was fine. The "beef" ... well, we'll just leave it at that - "beef" - in quotation marks, if ya know what I mean. *chuckle* What else can I claim as significant? Well, the fact that I'm successfully writing in this blog thing. I suppose I'll get a widget that tracks how long I've successfully been blogging. Today - hooray - makes two days. Do I have a goal? Do I really care? Do I really want to share? Is anyone even aware? of my blog, that is. *smirk* I put a few more links up on my marlita.info site. Well, I think that's about it for my rantings. At least now I can go to bed feeling somewhat accomplished. *sarcasm* ... or is it? hmmm. well, that's about it. off to another day, God willing. *wink*

Still Awake

Ok, clearly I'm still awake. The computer caught me on my way to get ready for bed, and here I am. Anywho, I saw this link thing and wanted to test it out, so =P.

I'm Stuffed ... and tired?

So, what I thought I'd be making, wasn't. As in, I went to Wally-World *rolling eyes* and they didn't have much of anything that I was looking for - go figure. Why they still have such a huge presence, I still don't understand, but oh well.

Instead, what we ate was similar, but really, it was something close to what we've made in the past, save for the fact that this time we added salmon instead of shrimp. And yes, we cooked it together, like normal. For some reason, though, I was really frustrated about that, and I'm not sure why. A cover to one of the cooking dishes was even broken, accidentally, of course - it slipped off the shelf when I went to put it away.

I don't think I have much to really write. I'm listening to Josh Groban and I'm realizing that I have quite a bit stacked on my plate that I need to tend to this week.

Ok, well, I just wanted to update the blog with the outcome of today's cooking attempt. =P

Cooking Leaf?

ok, so I just came across a website for cooking - why i didn't look into it BEFORE i spent over $50 on cookbooks, I don't know, but at least I kept my receipts ;-) Anyway, so here's what I think I'm going to attempt: http://www.prevention.com/article/0,5778,s1-3-82-301-3918-1,00.html. Well, that and a few other things. David just went to work and since I've been hounding him for the last several days to pick out some recipes, he finally came up with this wishlist for the week:

• 1 Italian Dish with either a ceasar salad or a greek salad with plenty of feta, along with a tuscan style ceasar sirloin (geesh, he's not picky or ritzy, is he lol)
• 2 Fish Dishes, like a seafood kabob (no scallops, of course) and a Southwest Salmon (minus the spices for me)
• 1 Wholewheat Pita Bread Pizza - toppings of my choice
• 1 Chicken Taco meal with no-transfat shells for him
• and the rest we left up in the air

Am I really going to cook all of this for him this week? I don't think so! Why? A few reasons: 1) it's expensive to buy all of this stuff and i still can't cook all that well, so I'd rather not waste money, and 2) (the bigger issue for me) I don't think he deserves it - not yet anyway.

He's been 'studying' to get his real estate license for several months now (a waste of money, it seems), but I just rekindled the flame last night & I'm hoping it will take affect here soon. I told him THIS week he has to attempt and pass it, and he says he'll try. God, please grant him everything he needs to make it happen!

As for myself - I'm sitting inside on the first gloriously warm day since 'winter' hit. I should be outside in a hammock, but I couldn't find the extension cord for the laptop and the battery drains quickly. It's old and not worth buying another battery, since I plan on getting another computer here soon. So, here I am, instead inside the office, which looks like a disaster zone! Thank God for Lehua, who came over Friday to keep me motivated while I went through the bedroom and gave it a facelift. It looks so much better now - I love it! As for the office ... well ... *sigh* ... that's another story. You can see that I came in here and started looking for recipes, instead. *chuckle* Ah well, procrastinator anonymous, here I come ... tomorrow? *smirk*

Can you tell, yet, that I get easily sidetracked. My brain thinks of so many different things that I can't seem to keep it focused long enough to finish the various things I start. I'm working on it, though! *hope* I suppose that with that I should close up this entry and attempt to continue the other things I've already started today, but have left unfinished. *pout*

PS - Daylight Savings, I think!, happened last night. Just figured I'd mention it.

Myers Briggs Personality Types

Ok, so on my Blog Profile, it asked for me to fill in something "About Me". You can see what I put, but here's what I wanted to put:

I'm someone who fluctuates most between these particular myers briggs personality types:

INFP
Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Want an external life that is congruent with their values. Curious, quick to see possibilities, can be catalysts for implementing ideas. Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened.

INTP
Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.

ENFP
Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and spanport. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency.

ENTP
Quick, ingenious, stimulating, alert, and outspoken. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems. Adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analyzing them strategically. Good at reading other people. Bored by routine, will seldom do the same thing the same way, apt to turn to one new interest after another.

this is the test title for my first blog entry

and this is the body of the first blog entry - hoorah =P